Today I woke up and I was running a bit late. I could not
decide on what to wear and I also needed to go get breakfast. After noticing
that my cohort went to go get breakfast together I had to find other people to
go eat with. After I managed to reach my destination I quickly ate and met two
girls named Eve and Avery. They were nice enough to lead to me to our class
since I get lost easily and I needed help.
When I walked into class I noticed that we had a guest who
happened to be a male RA by the name of Toye.
I immediately knew that this was going to be an interesting new dynamic
in our class to implement the male prospective into our discussions. We usually
have a stable support group when it comes to discussing the obstacles that
women have to get past, but Toye would have to be the only voice for his gender’s
point of view. As class began we talked about how there are certain
characteristics associated with certain genders such as women being
dependent or soft. Society has implanted an image in our hands before we even step
foot on this Earth of what we are supposed to be like. Boys get race track
themed nurseries with sports teams surrounding their cribs in order to preserve
their presumed masculinity for the future. For girls they get dolls and everything
on the room is ‘Pretty and Pink’ so that they learn how to emulate a “proper”
women based on societies’ structure norms.We also discussed how women are
trapped in these preconceived notions on what they should dress, act, or talk
like and women who do not conform to those ideas are ostracized.
After discussing the assigned reading from last night I participated
in a gender gallery walk. The gender gallery walk entailed going around the
room and observing the pictures of how men or women are portrayed. These pictures gave me a physical image of what stereotypes and prejudices women are stricken with.
We also had to connect the picture to a course concept to learn how to think
critically and eventually make inferences in the future. The overall goal is to
come up with an action plan which I am very nervous about due to the fact that
we have to present in front of the entire Leadership Institute at Salomon Hall—a
large auditorium used to compensate for large groups. After class was over I went out to eat with some of my friends.
After discussing our action plans my friends and I left and
went to go get frozen yogurt and talked about how we are really starting to
like going to Brown University. I am enjoying going to Brown University
however, I am trying not to get attached to this school, because you never know
if you will get accepted or not. I never want to become emotionally invested
into a school and then get my heart broken by all of putting my eggs in one basket which would not be the smartest thing to do.
We got a headstart when we realized that the workshop was held at Smith B. Hall.
At first I did not feel like attending the workshop, because
talking about certain topics brings up a lot of feelings or memories that I don’t
like to relive. In the beginning of the diversity workshop we were asked a
series of questions and had to go stand next to the term that described our
daily life accurately. There were signs in various places in the room labeled
gender, ethnicity/race, religion, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation,
ability/disability, and age. The objective was to show us how diverse we may
seem but in fact we are all dealing with the same issues, but just in different
ways based on cultural barriers. The
group was asked to move to the sign that described one of the traits you are
most aware of on a daily basis. I moved to ethnicity, because every day I find
myself being a part of a small group of African- Americans in the room and I usually get excluded from a
lot of cliques. Throughout my life it has been hard to make friends, because I
am judged by people of other races and ostracized, but I am also left out by my
own race based on the fact that I “ act” different. I have been labeled as “white-washed”,
an “Oreo”, prissy, snotty, or stuck-up, because black people imply that I act
like I’m better than them. People are surprised when they hear me speak and are
curious to know why I am so articulate. If I am speaking articulately and
excelling in school and this is seen as a predominantly white characteristic
then I am not acting like a black person. I want to challenge that theory,
because the fact that I heard this mostly from the people of my own race is a
disgrace. I feel like the African-American community is so crippled and damaged
by the ideas that society has constructed that we actually start to believe these
ideas and raise our interact with one another accordingly. I shed a few tears today based on
the simple fact that I am frustrated with how I am portrayed in society. I
met Seenia, a young African-American women, who was bullied throughout her
adolescent years , because of her hair, skin tone, and socioeconomic status.
She inspires me so much, because she is still a sweet, kind- hearted young
woman, who has been through a lot of torment but still has managed to come a long way. I could identify with all of the experiences
that she has gone through and this experience really motivated me to make the
best action plan to my ability. This workshop made me question if I was
focusing on the right category when I decided to develop my action plan and now
I have to contemplate changing my plan entirely. I really feel as though by
meeting other young women who are going through the same things that I am it
confirms that I am not alone. There are people who face the same challenges as
you and you should not be ashamed to tell someone that you need help. I feel as
though this program offers me a substantial amount of emotional support which I
am in dire need of, because I felt a bit homesick yesterday. I am happy with
how everything turned out, because if I wasn’t here at Brown University I wouldn’t
have had this opportunity to heal. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my
shoulders and I have unleashed this pain within my heart. I have been freed from
the chains that have held me captive and prevented me from trying new things. I can
now move on with my life and help somebody else who might be going through the
same things that I have.
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| Healing One Step at a Time |
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