Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Exponential Factor

Today is my last day in California before I part ways and head on this long anticipated, amazing journey. Throughout  the entirety of this summer I have been awaiting this day and dreaming of all the situations I could, and will, face. Now, all my imaginations and simulations are becoming realities. There is less than 24 hours between me and the illusive Brown.

Since my purpose is to capture my anticipation, I have decided to document my feelings a few times throughout the day in order to better capture all of my emotions.

12:27 PM 7/16/13 - 16 hours from departure
I am in disbelief. Every time I walk through the living room, I see these foreign bags, almost as if I was not the one who had packed them just yesterday. I feel as if I'm in a purgatory, not fully at home, and yet not fully ready to leave. This whole experience feels unreal, I cannot believe I have actually made it to this point. I  think back to all steps I took to get here, interviews, applications, and meetings; I know this is going to be amazing.  
The most luggage I've ever had
 5:22 PM 7/16/13 - 11 hours from departure
My eyes are slowly being opened to the journey before me. I am leaving in less time than it takes for the sun to rise and set. I am so very excited. My mother is starting to realize I am leaving also; she's making my favorite dinner (Eggplant Parmigiana). I have now fully realized that I'm leaving home tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning. I realized today is my last day to say goodbye to all my friends here. I even frantically drove to my horseback stables to give my horse one last apple ( or maybe two :) as I remembered I won't be doing that at Brown. Despite all the things to say goodbye to, I am not stunted in my anticipation of Brown. One could even say my excitement is mounting exponentially as the hours tick on.
My Mom's Eggplant Parmigiana

 A mathematical representation of my excitement

8:04 PM 7/16/13 - 8 hours to departure
The time has come. The hour is upon us. It has begun. Everything happening feels like a tag line in a movie. I am so excited to leave and full of nervous energy I can barely keep my hands steady as I type this. I keep on thinking of all the things that could go wrong. My bag breaks, I forget my shoes, I leave my laptop, I don't wake up in time, the possibilities are infinite. I am not upset however, because despite my joggled and restless self, I am full of joy at the adventure before me. Anything that goes from here can only be better, accidents may happen but I still will be living a dream: visiting and staying at an Ivy League school by my own achievement (and of course the help of wondrously generous community members). My anticipation seems to be growing tenfold of the amount a few moments before. I am so excited!
Goodbye California!
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